In which we are introduced

Hi there, I'm Velvet. I'm a submissive girl in my early twenties and live in the Southeastern US. I think that, at some point in my life, I've challenged every word in the preceding sentence, but I'll save that for later. My history with D/s hasn't exactly been a sunshiney field of flowers, but hey, I burn easily and flowers make me sneeze.

When I met Iron, I did what I do with most local, “normal”-seeming kinds of men – I threw at him every word that I use to describe myself that could be considered “controversial,” and waited to see which one made him squirm.

“I'm polyamorous. If you ask me to be exclusive, ever, it's a deal-breaker.”
“Good. Me too.”
(But . . . that usually makes them run screaming, or ask if they can be a fuck-buddy.)

“I'm bi. I'll notice a pretty girl before a pretty boy any day, but I don't have the patience or energy to converse with and pursue women these days.”
“Interesting. I notice pretty girls too, but I like talking to them, obviously.”
(He passed over all of that and gave me a compliment!)

“I'm an atheist. You're a Christian. That bothers you doesn't it?”
“No, not really.”
(What? What about my soul? My precious precious toasty soul?)

“I've had a lot of sex. Have you?”
“Not a lot, but I'm not averse to the idea. You can teach me.”

“I don't do teaching; I'm submissive.”
“I don't think that's how submission works.”
(I know he's right, but maybe if I keep on trying to shock him, it'll work.)

“As an extension of the whole submission thing, I'm also a pain-slut.”
“Oh? Pain, so . . . like this?”
“OW! No, I can't move, and that hurts, like, a lot!”
“But it's pain, and it's forcing you to submit. That's what you want, right?”

That's when I realized that I needed to reevaluate and examine why I identified as submissive, and that I needed to learn how to be specific about pain and my tolerance for it, both of which Iron has been helping me to do for nearly two years now. In the interim, I've learned that I can teach by simply giving feedback, without stepping into a role in which I feel uncomfortable.